So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
