They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
