everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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