dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
