yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
