SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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