he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so let's talk penis.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
