in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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