Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
