WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize