a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
