Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
