It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
