it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
