found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
