Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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