i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
