Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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