You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
