it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
