She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
