Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
