I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just had sex bonerless
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
