im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
