I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
