I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
