I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
