And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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