Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
