He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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