Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
