For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
