Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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