I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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