i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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