what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
