Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
