i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I intend to get homeless drunk
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
