You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
