Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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