Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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