I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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