Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
