i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you have to choose: penises or morals?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
