So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
