How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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