I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we're so committed to being not committed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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