Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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