Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
