their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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