So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
