Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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