I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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