dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
