now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
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Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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