We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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