There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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