i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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