Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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