im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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