No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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