would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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